6 Innings with Gregory Hudson
written by Commissioner Gallaway
Greg Hudson is the manager of the DC Twits. A .500 team in their rookie season, they are a playoff bubble team this summer in large part due to Hudson’s bat. Like any “good” manager, Hudson leaves himself on the pitcher’s mound too long, and his batting orders sometimes baffle onlookers. If you’re not sure who the Twits are, think back to a game where it looked like a team of umpires were playing. The Twits uniforms, and we use that term loosely, are just plain powder blue shirts which sometimes cause confusion with the arbiters of the game.
Gregory Hudson
Nickname: Grego
Age: 25
Hometown: Omaha, Nebraska
Resides: Arlington, VA
Employer: Qorvis
Bats: Right
Throws: Right
How did you find the PWL: Now teammate Alex Cochran sent it out to a few of us, I decided to act and form the Twits.
Seasons: 1.5
Career Batting Avg: .429
Career ERA: 1.70
Awards: Player of the Week (2 nominations), DC Twits New Team of the Year
TWIF: What is your favorite baseball team and who is your favorite baseball player of all time?
GH: My entire family is from Boston, so I was born into the Sox Nation. As far as favorite player ever, probably ol’ wicked pissah TEDDY BALLGAME. But of my lifetime, Pedro Martinez or Dustin Pedroia.
TWIF: Biebs or Feevs?
GH: Hate them both. So much hate. Best rivalry in sports.
TWIF: What is your favorite thing about wiffleball?
GH: My favorite thing is striking people out, but that hasn’t been going so well this season (lots of ejections…..). Oh and that obnoxious random noise overhead after planes roll by — seriously though, what is that?
TWIF: Have you ever used a wiffleball bat for other than its intended purpose?
GH: I keep one in my car, if people get too rowdy, it’s a good crowd control. I’m guessing you were going for something sexual here though…almost walked into that trap!
TWIF: If you could drown one player in the Potomac river, who would it be and why?
GH: I don’t know if it would be one player, although at times Fideles has frustrated me on the field — but my real answer is most certainly the entire Biebs Feevs team. Does anyone like those guys?!
TWIF: In your second season the Twits are starting to figure some things out. You’re winnings some games, and personally your numbers are outstanding. Sure, you have some problems to deal with, but it seems like you’re on the right track. What has been the hardest thing to adjust to in the league, and how are you and the Twits positioning yourselves to contend?
GH: You know, there’s a tough learning curve for rookie teams coming into this league, and last year we never seemed to be able to get over that hump and just play Wiffleball — just missing the playoffs (hate the Feevs). This year I think we have settled down, switched up the lineup, and are starting to know our roles as players on the team. As for me, I’m not sure why the sudden success at the plate, I just hope I can keep it up into the playoffs. We knew we could compete, but now the confidence has come back in all of us I think, now we are starting to know we can win. That being said, it’s still early, and there are a lot of good teams we still have to play to get out of our division. Right now though, anything less than a playoff berth is a failure.
Color Commentary - posted 2011-09-16 09:40 in Six-Innings
6 Innings with Eamon Murray
written by Commissioner Gallaway
Eamon Murray is often overlooked when you think of the stars of the PWL. He’s on a team that’s never made the playoffs, he’s kind of a dick, and while he has moments of greatness, he’s basically in the bottom of the top third of players in the league…also known as just better than the middle. That being said, when it comes to intensity and base running he’s the Ty Cobb of the league. If you’re in an online vote for Player of the Week against him, he’ll beat you at the last second with thousands of votes. If you’re not paying attention in the field your pitcher will be holding the ball waiting on the safe call at first base while Eamon is sliding into third. Smarter and more aggressive than Filides on the basepaths, it hasn’t mattered without a team behind him. This season, the Gnats changed their name to the Most Interesting Men in the World. Even though they’re not, they are suddenly playoff contenders.
Eamon Murray
Nickname: [explative deleted]
Age: 30
Hometown: Somerset, MA
Resides: Silver Spring, MD
Employer: US Air Force
Bats: Both
Throws: Right
How did you find the PWL: It found me…
Seasons: 3
Career Batting Avg: .457
Career 3B: 8 (three short of tying career record)
Awards: Rookie of the Year (Sp10), Player of the Week (2 nominations/1win)
TWIF: What is your favorite baseball team and who is your favorite baseball player of all time?
EM: Red Sox and Eddie Murray, you know, because we’re related. Ok so maybe that’s just what my parents told me. I was a dumb kid.
TWIF: Home run, or legging a single into a double?
EM: How about legging a single into a triple…
TWIF: What is your favorite thing about wiffleball?
EM: I love the rarely cut grass scratching up my legs, the taste of warm beer, the roar of aircraft destroying my eardrums, the sight of Nick puking in the bushes, and the smell of the port-a-johns in the morning. It’s just a bounty for the senses.
TWIF: Have you ever used a wiffleball bat for other than its intended purpose?
EM: I use it to strike out a lot. I’m pretty sure that’s not it’s intended purpose…
TWIF: If you could drown one player in the Potomac river, who would it be and why?
EM: My heart tells me Fidiles, but that’s been beaten to death…My brain tells me Thaman. If not for him, I might have a shot at a Cy Young, so I’ll go with that.
TWIF: This is your third season. You’ve finally gotten rid of the girls on your team, including your wife, and have put together a slightly winning record and a likely post-season appearance for the first time. We know that the shark hat is behind Schenkel’s turnaround, but what is driving you and the rest of the Gnats to success?
EM: Dos Equis…duh. Well, that and a deep-seeded anger at the fact that none us us can grow a beard…oh, and people who continue calling us the Gnats.
Color Commentary [3] - posted 2011-05-27 11:46 in Six-Innings
6 Innings with Joe Thaman
written by TWIF
It’s been nine years since Joe Thaman played in his first World Series. His team didn’t win and he had the misfortune to be the last out to end the final game that sent them home, a strike out.
Most of you know that the PWL has only been around since 2005, and Thaman’s franchise, Superman’s Wheelchair has only been in the league since 2010. The World Series we’re talking about here isn’t the one the 15 PWL teams left in contention are fighting for.
This was the College World Series, a tournament annually featuring the eight best teams in NCAA baseball. And Thaman’s team wasn’t the Wheelchair, it was a small private university just north of South Bend, Indiana, called Notre Dame.
The victory he couldn’t deliver for his alma mater in Omaha, he would deliver eight years later for his friends at Gravelly Point.
Last season’s Most Valuable Player and Cy Young Award winner, Thaman led Superman’s Wheelchair to their first wiffleball World Championship. Poised to become the second team in history to defend their title (Canvassers did it twice), Thaman has been almost unhittable this season. In addition to a 9-0 start for himself and a 10-0 start for his team, Thaman has pitched 70 consecutive innings without giving up a run. He’s on his second run at the perfect inning streak, currently at 14 after falling a half inning short of the record with a 19.5 streak earlier this season. He’s making a run at the Pitching Triple Crown, currently trailing only in ERA. With four perfect games this season to add to his one from last season he now is the all-time career leader.
He gets a little bitchy when you call him a one dimensional player though and don’t mention his hitting stats. He leads his team in batting average and RBI and since it takes him about three steps from the left handed batter’s box to be at first base he’s a tough out. He’s not putting up the same numbers at the plate that he did during his MVP run last season, but offense as a whole has been down this season, plus he had to leave something for his teammates to do on the field.
Wheelchair hasn’t lost a game they’ve actually played, regular or post-season, in 22 straight competitions. (They did forfeit two games last season.) If they win the next four, they become only the third team in league history (and first in the modern era) to have an undefeated regular season. Eight more and they’re getting a second plaque on the Commissioner’s Trophy. Thaman is a major key to that success and we’re not sure what, if anything, could slow him down at this point.
Well…maybe one thing. In addition to a new pitch he has working, it turns out his sperm works too. Thaman is about to become a father for the first time (that we know about). Brian Ford has been calling OB-GYN’s in the area in a long shot hope of getting the labor induced the day of the World Series. Maybe that would be enough to slow the south paw down, or at least let a Wheelchair opponent score a run.
Joe Thaman
Nickname: Chauffeur Joe
Age: 29
Hometown: Saint Louis, MO
Resides: Washington, DC – Columbia Heights
Employer: Metropolitan Life – For the ‘ifs’ in life
Bats: L
Throws: L
How did you find PWL?: A straight friend (I think he’s straight – doesn’t matter though – good guy) and teammate, Chris Keeven
Seasons: 3
Career Batting Avg: .518
Career HR: 13
Career ERA: 0.49
Career K: 188
Awards: Most Valuable Player (Su10), Cy Young Award (Su10), Player of the Week (7 nominations/1win)
TWIF: What is your favorite baseball team and who is your favorite baseball player of all time?
JT: Saint Louis Cardinals. A mix of Stan “The Man” Musial, Will “The Thrill” Clark, Mark “Gracie” Grace, and David “Perfect Game” Wells
TWIF: Who sucks more, the Cardinals, or the Fighting Irish?
JT: This doesn’t make any sense.
TWIF: What is your favorite thing about wiffleball?
JT: Winning and pretty much everything else… except the douche-baggery of some teams and players.
TWIF: Have you ever done anything under the bleachers you’re not proud of?
JT: I’ve never had to meet with that creepy, old guy under the bleachers before. That’s a pretty sick question, Chris. What have you done with him? Geez
TWIF: If a plane crashed on the field while landing, what team would you want it to take out and why?
JT: The Sex Panthers. I don’t know those guys, but I would never name my team after a men’s cologne. Sounds kinda… ya know… And then the white-framed sunglasses. Let’s get serious.
TWIF: Your team is the defending World Series Champions, you personally are the current Cy Young Winner, you’re off to a 9-0 start this season, have thrown four perfect games…things seem to be going well on the field. What’s going on with Joe the person, not Joe the ball player, and what is your biggest off field disappointment?
JT: Joe the person is much less a man than Joe the wiffleman. I’m average in every facet of life – an average worker; average talker; average hand-shaker; average friend; (soon to be average dad); average white guy. Wiffle truly lifts my spirits beyond what any religion could do and raises my confidence levels in other parts of my life. For example, I was talking trash on Monday morning (after my two perfect games, of course) to my sales manager because he wouldn’t get me a cup of coffee. Then I was like, “check out my games from Sunday, idiot!” and sent him the links to watch our wiffleball (is it one word or two) games from 5/15. The jerk still hasn’t gotten me my coffee, but we both know I deserve it. I’m really a changed guy.
My biggest disappointment – I’ll never forget it – In 2nd grade, I had just bough a pack of basketball cards (probably Topps – I’m a traditionalist). One of my “friends” wanted the rookie card of a guy from Louisiana State University named Shaquille O’Neal. I never heard of the guy. I asked him what he would give me. He went into this sales pitch about how this young shortstop named Pat Listach with the Brewers was about to become one of the truly great shortstops of our generation. I quickly shook his hand, made the trade, and told him how great of a friend he was. That was the first time I found out how the real world works.
Color Commentary [5] - posted 2011-05-19 19:38 in Six-Innings
6 Innings with Jim Shannon
written by TWIF
This week we talk to Jim Shannon. In case you haven’t figured it out, the Shannon brothers are well, twins. We’re not sure if Jim is younger or older, and in fact, we can’t even really tell them apart when they’re not wearing their respective baseball hats. They make up a good chunk of the Blandsford Barnburners who are in the hunt for their third World Championship this season. They previously won in Spring 2009 and Spring 2010. They’re better in the cooler weather.
Jim Shannon
Nickname: When you’re this good, nicknames are considered to be irreverent
Age: 21
Hometown: Chicago, IL
Resides: Harrisonburg, VA
Employer: James Madison University
Bats: Check my stats
Throws: Check those too
How did you find PWL?: It found me
Seasons: 4
Batting Avg: .481
HR: 21
RBI: 39
Awards: POTW Winner
TWIF: What is your favorite baseball team and who is your favorite baseball player of all time?
JS: Chicago Cubs, and favorite player of all time is John McGraw. Google him.
TWIF: North side or south side?
JS: Well, since I have above a 5th grade education and since I have all my teeth, North side. At a game on the southside, tailgating consists of eating stale peanuts in the car while praying to God you don’t get robbed at gunpoint.
TWIF: What is your favorite thing about wiffleball?
JS: The look on DiCrosta’s face when I take him deep. He gives me a stare with those dead eyes of his.
TWIF: Have you ever done anything under the bleachers you’re not proud of?
JS: No, nothing what like Colin did behind the stage in high school.
TWIF: If a plane crashed on the field while landing, what team would you want it to take out and why?
JS: NWO, for reasons we’re all aware of. But of course, half of that roster never existed in the first place, so we’d suffer the least number of casualties.
TWIF: You’ve been nominated back-to-back weeks for Player of the Week to start off this season. You seem to be seeing the ball well. Lifetime your brother has won more awards, Rookie of the Year, two POTW to your one POTW. And yet, in career numbers you’ve got him by 45 points of AVG, 134 points in SLG, and have hit 2 more homers than him. Is it just that he’s more likeable in a public vote? Does he have better success with the ladies?
JS: The thing it comes down to, Chris, is that I just put my hard hat on every ballgame and do what I can to win. It’s not about the numbers, although mine are, in fact, that much better than his. The fact is that his numbers have been dropping ever since his rookie year, and I fear that he may be in the twilight of his career…
Color Commentary [4] - posted 2011-04-14 23:33 in Six-Innings
6 Innings with Alfred Breuer II
written by TWIF
This week we’re talking to Player of the Week nominee and possible rookie of the year prospect Alfred Breuer of the Garbage Plates. He’s a free agent pickup for a new team, but he’s leading the league in homers and RBI. He might even be able to pitch too, though clearly we don’t care about that.
Alfred Breuer II
Nickname: Alfred
Age: 29
Hometown: San Antonio
Resides: DC
Employer: Trade Association
Bats: Right
Throws: Like a girl
Seasons: .14
Batting Avg: .438
HR: 3, league leader
RBI: 9, co-league leader
Awards: One pending nomination for POTW
TWIF: What is your favorite baseball team and who is your favorite baseball player of all time?
AB: Cleveland Indians. Albert Belle, he is a misunderstood genius who doesn’t let anyone stand in his way, especially Fernando Vina.
TWIF: Home run, or legging a single into a double?
AB: Home run. Like Cecil Fielder I’d rather take my time around the bases.
TWIF: What is your favorite thing about wiffleball?
AB: I was allowed to play.
TWIF: Have you ever done anything under the bleachers you’re not proud of?
AB: No comment.
TWIF: If a plane crashed on the field while landing, what player would you want it to take out and why?
AB: Alexander Filides from NWO. 19 SO seems a little excessive.
TWIF: In your rookie debut as a free agent you hit three homers and drove in nine runs to lead the league in both categories. Some say you had the short field with the wind at your back. Some say it’s all downhill from here. How do you respond to those people, and can you live up to the expectations in future weeks?
AB: First, I must thank God, but I won’t be giving credit to Mother Nature or beginner’s luck. The wind may have been swirling, but after careful review of the games the wind is clearly moving across the field. Also my homeruns were at least 10 feet past the centerfield fence. I’d like to point out no other player on that field hit homeruns with the exception of my teammate who also mashes. Short field? Dammit! Are these fields regulation size or what? Sheesh! Having said all this I will now most likely crumble under the pressure and be dropped from the Garbage Plates very soon.
Color Commentary - posted 2011-04-07 21:09 in Six-Innings
6 Innings with Christopher Keeven
written by TWIF
This week we’re talking to rookie of the year prospect Christopher Keeven of Fear and Loathing on the Base Path. No, he’s not a mascot or piece of equipment, but since jumping into a Batting Triple Crown contest after Week 5 we wanted to find out his deal. What we learned wasn’t good. He’s from Missouri, or as he as a slaver would likely pronounce it, mih-ZUR-uh. His team is 5-5, but if they didn’t screw up so much, often because of Keeven’s many errors, they’d easily be 8-2 and well into the playoff hunt. They won’t see the post season, but they may have something to celebrate at the Champion’s Dinner if he holds on and becomes the fifth player in league history to win the Batting Triple Crown.
Christopher J. Keeven
Nickname: The Fraternal Order
Age: 28
Hometown: St. Louis
Resides: the District
Bats: like Albert Pujols
Throws: California gangsta-style pool parties
Seasons: .71
Batting Avg: .538, league leader
HR: 8, league leager
RBI: 12, co-league leader
Awards: Two nominations for POTW, no wins
TWIF: What is your favorite baseball team and who is your favorite baseball player of all time?
CK: St. Louis Cardinals; Willie McGee
TWIF: Muck Fizzou or Rock Chalk?
CK: Rock chalk chicken-hawk, go MIZZOU!
TWIF: What is your favorite thing about wiffleball?
CK: I love arriving at the yard on a clear, sunny day to hear the unmistakable crack of plastic on plastic when launching a towering home run, and then refraining from unnecessarily running the bases. The only similarly euphoric experience is to be wrapped in the welcoming embrace of a gentle, yet purposeful lover, under the cool mist of Iguazu Falls, while snacking on encased meats smothered in sauerkraut.
TWIF: Have you ever done anything under the bleachers you’re not proud of?
CK: I don’t know. I’ll tell you later. How’s your wife and my kids?
TWIF: If a plane crashed on the field while landing, what team would you want it to take out and why?
CK: Brosopherous. They’re the most ungentlemanly team in the PWL, and they defeated us twice. In the season opener, they won on a fluke, opposite field, walk-off double that painted the right field foul line. That loss set a poor tone for the season for FnL, like eating a chili half-smoke at Ben’s before trying to have sex.
TWIF: It’s your rookie season and after 5 weeks you find yourself in the hunt for something only the greats of the game have achieved, the batting triple crown. Your team plays like a roller coaster, beating top teams, but losing to guys you should run-rule. What do you know now that you wish you’d known before you ever showed up at the wiffleball fields, and how has that changed your strategy to finish this season out above .500?
CK: Aggressive base running and sound defense can dictate the outcome of a close game. Notwithstanding FnL’s poor focus in these areas, a playoff birth is still possible for us, and nobody wants to face our lineup and the tall lefty on the bump in the tournament. Believe that.
Color Commentary - posted 2010-05-20 21:14 in Six-Innings
6 Innings with Mr. Party
written by TWIF
It’s official…inanimate objects are more interesting this season than the players. (Don’t hold your breath for that Alex Filides soul searching interview, it isn’t coming.) So, for the second week in a row, we’re doing something different. Mr. Party is the mascot of his namesake team “Mr. Party’s Waddle”. A “waddle” is a group of penguins. Get it? Mr. Party’s Waddle. Nevermind. Anyway, we sat down with the bird, er, mammal…no, definitely a flightless bird, to talk about the team he represents. To be honest, he’s a bit of a prick.
Cornelius J. Pardee, Jr.
Nickname: Mr. Party
Age: 8
Hometown: Coulman Island, Antarctica (NZ)
Resides: Washington, DC
Employer: Emperor (title shared with 450,000 others)
Bats: L
Throws: Ambi-flipperous
TWIF: What is your favorite baseball team and who is your favorite baseball player of all time?
MP: My favorite team is the squad at Youngstown State University. My favorite player of all time is Ron Cey.
TWIF: Force a speed reading, or call it on yourself?
MP: My, er, people are very honourable, so as a gentleman, I’d definitely say call it on yourself. Forcing a reading is something dirty fucking seal would do.
TWIF: What is the toughest thing about being a mascot for your team?
MP: Making sure that the awesomeness I exude only extends to my boys. I don’t need that good penguin mojo spilling off on a Gnat, or an Alcoholic, or a Canvasser (whatever the fuck that is).
TWIF: Have you ever done anything under the bleachers you’re not proud of?
MP: Do you see any fucking bleachers around here? Besides, this league is a sausage-fest, what possible trouble could I get into?
TWIF: If you could drown one player in the Potomac this season, who would it be?
MP: It’s gonna be you, Gallaway, if you keep asking such bullshit questions. But I’ll give you the 16th person on my hit list, just so I don’t have to fight everyone at Gravelly Point this weekend (mind you, I could fight everyone, and I’d kick their fucking asses. I just don’t feel like it). Juliana Pearson of Rossi Posse. She knows why.
TWIF: Your team didn’t make the playoffs last year, and this season find yourselves in the toughest Division in the League. Is the Waddle destined to be just a middle of the road team that fills a schedule spot, or do you have a vision for getting this franchise off of the melting ice shelves and into the pennant race?
MP: I see how it is, “Commisioner”. You just want to shit all over my team, huh? I will flipper slap you so hard you’ll be using Ragano’s testes as game balls, you dirty mother…ok, ok, I’m calming, I’m calming, I’m calming…I’m calm.
Listen, the Waddle’s gonna be fine. They were in contention all of last season, as an expansion team. And so far they’ve EXCEEDED the win total from your precious Commisioner’s predictions. All we need is some offense to supplement Sully’s pitching and we’ll be dominating this two-bit league, and our new guy Shugar seems to have started that up with a ribbie earlier this season. If one of Coaks, Leni, or Cain gets off their ass and starts hitting, we can win this whole damn league. So back off, will ya? You know what, fuck this, this interview is OVER!
Color Commentary [1] - posted 2010-05-13 21:16 in Six-Innings
6 Innings with the Super Striper
written by TWIF
This week’s profile is with the Super Striper. The Striper is the league’s best utility player. Lining three fields each week, and recently her responsibilities have grown from just foul lines and the arc to include batters’ boxes. This is the rookie season for a brand new Striper. Our previous chief painter had been with the Commissioner since before there was even a league in DC, getting her start in 2003 in the Lawrence, Kansas league. She was finally forced into retirement by a bad handle at the end of the last season. The company that makes the Striper offers a lifetime guarantee, and would have replaced the device for free, but it would have meant shipping the old one back. We just couldn’t do that, so we sent the previous one to the Hall of Fame, and got a fresh start with the new one.
Athletic Super Striper
Nickname: Stripes
Age: 1
Hometown: Cary, Illinois
Resides: Woodley Park, Washington, DC
Employer: Fox Valley Systems, Inc
Bats: N/A
Throws: …paint in a very straight line
Seasons: 1
Wheels: 10”
Best Feature: Kan Shakers
Awards: None
TWIF: What is your favorite baseball team and who is your favorite baseball player of all time?
SS: 1985 Pittsburgh Pirates. Keith Hernandez, because he made the best looking lines.
TWIF: Fair Arc or Batters Box?
SS: Fair Arc. It’s easy, hard to mess up. The Batters Boxes are tough. We only had to add them because some douchebag in Spring Training was crowding the plate and the powers that be realized you could block inside pitches from being called strikes if there wasn’t a line. The league needs a template, but there is lack of storage room in the rental van already, so it’s likely to still be done by eyeball and tape measure for the near future.
TWIF: Worst field?
SS Red, by far. It’s got the worst grass, the big rock by third base, and the droopiest fence. The field layout specialist (a/k/a temporary laborer) hired by the league really let the standards go on the final field. Also, we use it less than every other field, and yet, it still takes the same amount of paint. Explain that, Darwin.
TWIF: Have you ever done anything under the bleachers you’re not proud of?
SS: You have to shake the can for a full minute AFTER you hear the ball dislodge and start rattling around. Seriously though, the worst thing I’ve probably ever done is tell the National Park Service I’m using the special, environmentally safe paint, but really we got some cheap shit from Korea that will burn the hair off your…whatever.
TWIF: If you could drown one player in the Potomac this season, who would it be?
SS: The players don’t really bother me. It’s mostly the idiots who ignore the lines, the fences, and the actively being played wiffleball game and still walk across the field on their way to some bullshit picnic, dysfunctional family gathering, or awkward first date at what they think is some park or nice view of the DC skyline but really happens to be the premier wiffleball complex in the country. Though, if I had to name a player, it’s probably Matt Dreyfus because he’s a cock-tease.
TWIF: It’s your first season, replacing a career veteran. We’ve also just moved to new fields, expanded to 12 teams, and added a strike board. So, as far as new things go, you’ve been overlooked a little bit. How do you fit into the future of the PWL, and what’s your biggest challenge to getting some recognition?
SS: It was tough to step into the wheels of the old striper. But, my job is not to be noticed. If I’m doing my job, no one says anything about the lines or the boxes. If I get a little off on a baseline, and people start to talk about the line being less than straight, or even…crooked, then I know I need to work harder. I’ll always be there, but I don’t need to be in the spotlight to give good paint.
Color Commentary [1] - posted 2010-05-07 00:57 in Six-Innings
6 Innings with Jesse Contario
written by TWIF
This week’s profile is with Jesse Contario. Fresh off a Rookie of the Year Award and a World Series appearance last year with Flaglove, with a new team name and a new, tougher division, Contario is trying to avoid a sophomore slump. The opening week of the season was rough on him, but week 2 was even worse. He left his team and skipped out to drive to Vermont to attend a Justin Bieber concert. He needs to get back on track if the Bros have any chance of making it back to the Spring Fall Classic.
Jesse Contario
Team: Brosephorous Rex
Nickname: Longface
Age: 27
Hometown: Geneva, New York
Resides: Arlington, VA
Employer: Greenberg Quinlan Rosner Research
Bats: R
Throws: R
Seasons: 1
Career Avg: .422
Career Slg: .933
Awards: Rookie of the Year and Player of the Week
TWIF: What is your favorite baseball team and who is your favorite baseball player of all time?
JC: New York Mets and favorite player is probably Darryl Strawberry, that guy was a BAMF.
TWIF: Small ball or big inning?
JC: Small ball – you know how we do.
TWIF: Who is the most annoying member of Flaglove?
JC: Conventional wisdom says Paul “biggest a-hole in six counties” Costello, but it’s really Week 2 POTW-hopeful Sean Conway.
TWIF: Have you ever done anything under the bleachers you’re not proud of?
JC: After a few beers I’ve been known to force party guests at my home to watch the video of me hitting dingers on the PWL website – but that’s nothing to be embarrassed about right?
TWIF: If you could drown one player in the Potomac this season, who would it be?
JC: Two weeks ago I would have said Tony, but now I just feel bad for him. He’s playing on a .500 club that isn’t nationally ranked. I guess if I keep hitting like I did in week one maybe I’ll have to put the cement boots on my own feet.
TWIF: Rookie of the Year. A World Series appearance. It was a great rookie season for you and your entire team. The only real disappointment, besides losing the World Series, was your team name. Widely considered the worst in the league. Now, you’ve gone even worse this season. How can you guys overcome the name to find wiffleball success?
JC: In Latin Brosepherous Rex loosely translates to king of the Brosifs – and that’s kind of how we live our lives. It’s the only way we know how. Last year was a whirlwind – having to win our last six games of the regular season just to make the playoffs and then playing great ball to beat Clubber Lang and head to the World Series. It was a great learning experience. Last year was fun but we’re going to have to play better, early this season if we want any shot at making the playoffs in the new and improved PWL. Shit just got real.
Color Commentary - posted 2010-04-23 00:38 in Six-Innings
6 Innings with Andrew Martin
written by TWIF
This week’s profile is with Andrew Martin. Since he’s so fun on the field, we thought he might be fun to talk to. Boy were we wrong. Martin is the competitively tempered pitcher of the Alcoholics Anonymous. And, despite the team name, he’s a better pitcher, and human being, when he’s 2/3 into a six pack of PBR. He pitches hard, and hardly bats. Despite non-stop abuse from the rest of the league, he keeps coming back, and that makes us happy.
Andrew Martin
Team: Alcoholics Anonymous
Nickname: Burns (cause of the massive sideburns)
Age: 22
Hometown: Damascus, MD
Resides: Germantown, MD
Employer: Montgomery College
Bats: R
Throws: R
Seasons: 1
Career ERA: 0.58
Career K’s: 57 (3rd on the all-time career list after 1 season)
Awards: Don’t be ridiculous
TWIF: What is your favorite baseball team and who is your favorite baseball player of all time?
AM: Atlanta Braves, Larry Chipper Jones.
TWIF: Pitcher’s hand or pegging?
AM: Pegging.
TWIF: Care to elaborate?
AM: .
TWIF: What is your favorite thing about wiffleball?
AM: Drinking beer and the chase for the Cy Young.
TWIF: Isn’t that two things?
AM: .
TWIF: Have you ever done anything under the bleachers you’re not proud of?
AM: I’m proud of everything I’ve done.
TWIF: If one player could fall through one of the Ft. Reno sink holes and disappear forever, who would you want it to be? (NOTE: Our inteview took place before we moved to Gravelly. Trust us, there were sink holes.)
AM: Dallas Brown and people will know why if they watch the game footage against Joe Buck Yourself.
TWIF: Some people say you’re the most annoying guy in the league. Others think you’re just in the top two. It’s clear you come to play ball, and play through the distractions, but tell us why everyone has judged you wrong, and you’re really a likeable guy we’d want to hang out with.
AM: During the games I’m probably annoying as hell cause I just talk shit but outside of wiffleball I like to have fun and I don’t talk shit. People just take what I say during games too seriously. They don’t realize that I am only like that in sports because that is the only place they know me from.
Color Commentary [2] - posted 2010-04-15 22:44 in Six-Innings
