Six Innings

6 Innings with Zach Carter

Written by - Posted 2012-09-14 09:44 in Six Innings

Zach Carter continues our series of old, if not good, players in the PWL who have somehow escaped a 6 innings profile from us in the past.

The Master Batters haven’t been a good team since their ace pitcher moved away a few seasons ago. Carter himself isn’t that great at playing, but he excels at being a total stat-whore. For example, he might be the career leader in saves (we really need to get the old pitching stats into the database) because he basically only shows up each week hoping to get into the game in a save situation.

The guy has a knack for building up stats while watching all the other teams beat him. It’s also possible he’s never been pictured on the website with his eyes open.

Zach Carter
[ player profile page ]

Nickname: The Closer (because I am the closer)
Age: 29
Hometown: Omaha, NE and Kansas City, KS and St. Louis, MO and Detroit, MI…
Resides: Washington, DC
Employer: A DC area High School (But don’t tell anyone because I’m really embarassed by my team name)
Bats: Well
Throws: Slightly less well
How did you find the PWL: When I found myself with yet another jobless summer stretching out in front of me I was lucky enough to stumble across a Washington Post article on the beauty of PWL.

Seasons: 7
Career Batting Avg: .363
Awards: Player of the Week SP 2010 WK3, Gold Glove Award – Catcher SU 2010, Nominated for Rookie of the Year SU 2009

TWIF: What is your favorite baseball team and who is your favorite baseball player of all time?
ZC: Favorite team is the playoff bound Washington Nationals (I jumped that bandwagon WAY before this year). Favorite player is another left-handed hitting, right armed throwing Hall of Famer, George Brett (and I’m not just kissing up to the Comish).

TWIF: What is your favorite thing about wiffleball?
ZC: The possibility of coming out every Sunday and competing with some of the most mediocre athletes in the Washington, DC area and knowing that I am very close to being in their league.

TWIF: Tampon red or Camo green?
ZC: Since my girlfriend shrunk my red jersey it now hugs my belly in all the right ways and my manager couldn’t take the time to iron on the Camo logo straight… I’m still holding out for a pin-striped 3 button.

TWIF: Have you ever done anything with a wiffle bat you’re not proud of?
ZC: When you get a good swing on a few fireflys you can end up with a glowing stick that looks a bit like a light saber… or so I’m told.

TWIF: If you could drown one player in the Potomac river, who would it be and why?
ZC: Chris Smyth. While a long-time Master Batter, he chose to take the season off to pursue his “job” of filming the election for the “news”. All he did was come back for one week, hit .750, and bail. Now the only time I hear from him is when he emails us to remind us that he is out-hitting all of us. I’m sure he’ll be back next season along with his .100 batting average.

TWIF: : In the post-Higgins era, the Master Batters have been demoted from a playoff contender to a bunch of gamers basically playing to pad their personal stats instead of win ball games. You’re basically the Rosse Posse of the current league, with a few more wins a season. You’re cool with that?
ZC: We made the conscious decision to let Higgins go because he was abusing the team’s performance enhancing drug policy. We would rather be a competitive team with integrity than an elite team that insults the game of wiffle ball by using (i.e. The Barnburners). I can’t think of a single Master Batter that plays for the name on the back of the jersey instead of the front. And I remember playing against Rosse Posse… they really sucked.

Also, I have one more question I’d like you to ask me.

TWIF: I’m sorry, you want me to ask you an additional question?

ZC: Yes, I’d like you to…

TWIF: Let me stop you right there, is the concept of an interview totally foreign to you? Do you not get that this isn’t a conversation> It’s not I ask things, you ask things. Only I ask things. Does that make sense?

ZC: If you had asked me if I was commissioner for a day, how would you change the PWL, I would like to answer that question.

TWIF: First of all, it’s supposed to be six questions, not seven. Second of all, that’s kind of a clown question isn’t it?

ZC: I have only one rule that can make this rule any better. I would force all batters that hit a homerun to trot around the bases. I think we can all use the exercise.

TWIF: Feel better, now?

comments powered by Disqus