POLL: Best New Team Name
written by TWIF
Sometimes we do best new team name, sometimes we do best new team and wait for week 1 to be over. Since we now have an official year end award for best new team, we think we’ll stick with best new team name.
Though, we realize it could be over pretty quickly this season.
Best New Team Name (Su11)
Janitors
Color Commentary - posted 2011-08-05 19:05 in Blog
HOT STOVE: Summer 2011
written by TWIF
August 1 – 10:45 AM – Current Teams and Players Signed Up
- NWO re-signs Craig Mann, so apparently there is at least one person who can stand Alex for more than one season.
- The Nick West sweepstakes is over, and despite his desire to make his choice into an hour long TV special, he informed his fans over Facebook. He’s a Canvasser.
July 31 – 11:45 PM – Current Teams and Players Signed Up
- Someone named Eamon Murray signed a contract with Scared Hitless, but there are rumors it’s not a real deal, or maybe even the real person. In other news, Matt “Big Cat” Dreyfus becomes the third Hitless manager in three seasons, and a groin pull is going to keep Tony Ragano out for this season.
- NWO finally has a second player, Brian Burrell of the Natty Brohs who are out for the summer signed a one-season deal. Expect Brohs broh Lois Goodman (David Bransfield) to possibly join him, but no official word other than Bransfield has been cleared to play.
- New Canvassers manager Tony Morin hasn’t re-signed top Rookie of the Year Nominee (but not final winner) Danny Bessette yet, but is expected to soon. Morin also thinks he’s in the mix and has almost finalized a deal for the top free agent get Nick West.
- Other players not on the Free Agent list from teams that aren’t coming back for Summer, unclear if any are available, who were over the PWL’s Mendoza line (.300) are: James Lenihan (.333/.513/0), Andrew Martin (.500/.1.333/3), Matthew Cunningham (.375/.500/0) and the Barnburners.
Read the full entry - Color Commentary [4] - posted 2011-08-01 10:37 in Blog
London 2011: Senators Only
written by TWIF
In a shocking development Commmissioner Gallaway announced today that the PWL would only be sending one team to the annual London Wiffleball Tournament.
The 13th Annual event is held in London, Ohio and for the first time will be single-elimination.
The PWL has sent two teams the last two years. The 2010 teams had the worst performance in league history. Each team consists of six players.
In addition to the London tournament, the Commissioner indicated that there would be a re-match of last years PWL vs. Kalamazoo Wiffle League (KWL) competition held in conjunction with the tournament.
Last season our Scared Hitless team played their Scared Hitless team. This season, the London roster will represent the PWL and take on all stars from the KWL. [ Archive: Scared Hitless Beats Self ]
The London fields are regulation width (or supposed to be) and have three fielders and a pitcher with no catcher. Traditionally a pitcher, shortstop, left field, right field, and up to two extra hitters.
Commissioner Gallaway wouldn’t comment on why the Nationals team won’t play at this year’s event. He said an official statement would be coming later.
Rumors around the league are that the Commissioner was not happy with the talent available for the second team, and preferred to regroup and plan for next year’s tournament.
Washington Senators Roster
Chris Gallaway, Manager
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The previous two editions of the Senators featured Jake Tomko. Tomko was released by the Barnburners earlier this season and did not play in the team’s 3rd World Series. It’s unclear if that’s why Commissioner Gallaway has also dropped him from the London roster. Ross Duenas, a five year veteran from the Nationals, has moved over to fill the final Senators roster spot.
There will also need to be adjustments made on fielding positions as the Senators have no clear pitcher.
Brian Clapp, the League’s Deputy Commissioner, had previously managed the Senator’s. He has semi-retired from league affairs and won’t be managing the team this season.
Past London Stories
Color Commentary - posted 2011-07-01 16:21 in News
BREAKING NEWS: Dreyfus Hurt in Practice Session, Not Available for World Series
written by TWIF
In the second major development about World Series personnel this week, Scared Hitless announced that Matt Dreyfus has been placed on the disabled list and will not be available for the World Series. Earlier this week it was announced that the Barnburners had released Jake Tomko.
Hitless manager Brian Ford said the injury was “short term” and wouldn’t affect next season. Dreyfus signed a contract extension just this week for one more season with Scared Hitless. “It’s just bad timing, but the Big Cat will be back. We probably weren’t going to win the World Series anyway. Open your damn eyes blue!” Ford said.
Ford declined to state the nature of the injury, but sources close to Hitless say the injury is a bruised ego. There was worry that Dreyfus had hyper-extended his ego the week before the DCS in the heat of the MVP voting, but he seemed fine last Sunday in the DCS, despite not driving in a run and only hitting .333 after leading Hitless in both categories all season.
Sources said that following the lackluster DCS in which Hitless squeezed through without actually earning any winning runs Dreyfus also came to the realization he probably wasn’t going to win MVP. During a practice session this week the bruised ego really started to look bad. Dreyfus consulted team doctors who reminded him how special he was, but were unable to get the condition under control in time for the World Series.
Color Commentary [4] - posted 2011-06-17 12:04 in Blog
BREAKING NEWS: Tomko Released by Barnburners
written by TWIF
PWL Trade Rumors is reporting that former Cy Young Award winner Jake Tomko has been released by the Blandsford Barnburners. The Barnburners are just over a week away from their third franchise World Series, and Tomko threw two 1-hitters in the Division Championship Series to get them there.
Neither the Barnburners, nor Commissioner’s office is commenting on this unconfirmed report.
Rosters for the World Series are set, so even with a Tomko release the Barnburners can’t replace him. It’s unclear why they would release him now, even if they were not going to play him in the World Series. They could just leave him on the roster and have him ride the bench.
Only Colin Gannon, the Burners manager, has significant pitching experience this season and could replace Tomko. (18.5 IP, 3-1, 1.30 ERA)
Brian Ford may have fallen ass backwards into a chance at delivering a World Series for Scared Hitless.
Color Commentary [3] - posted 2011-06-15 15:17 in Blog
6 Innings with Joe Thaman
written by TWIF
It’s been nine years since Joe Thaman played in his first World Series. His team didn’t win and he had the misfortune to be the last out to end the final game that sent them home, a strike out.
Most of you know that the PWL has only been around since 2005, and Thaman’s franchise, Superman’s Wheelchair has only been in the league since 2010. The World Series we’re talking about here isn’t the one the 15 PWL teams left in contention are fighting for.
This was the College World Series, a tournament annually featuring the eight best teams in NCAA baseball. And Thaman’s team wasn’t the Wheelchair, it was a small private university just north of South Bend, Indiana, called Notre Dame.
The victory he couldn’t deliver for his alma mater in Omaha, he would deliver eight years later for his friends at Gravelly Point.
Last season’s Most Valuable Player and Cy Young Award winner, Thaman led Superman’s Wheelchair to their first wiffleball World Championship. Poised to become the second team in history to defend their title (Canvassers did it twice), Thaman has been almost unhittable this season. In addition to a 9-0 start for himself and a 10-0 start for his team, Thaman has pitched 70 consecutive innings without giving up a run. He’s on his second run at the perfect inning streak, currently at 14 after falling a half inning short of the record with a 19.5 streak earlier this season. He’s making a run at the Pitching Triple Crown, currently trailing only in ERA. With four perfect games this season to add to his one from last season he now is the all-time career leader.
He gets a little bitchy when you call him a one dimensional player though and don’t mention his hitting stats. He leads his team in batting average and RBI and since it takes him about three steps from the left handed batter’s box to be at first base he’s a tough out. He’s not putting up the same numbers at the plate that he did during his MVP run last season, but offense as a whole has been down this season, plus he had to leave something for his teammates to do on the field.
Wheelchair hasn’t lost a game they’ve actually played, regular or post-season, in 22 straight competitions. (They did forfeit two games last season.) If they win the next four, they become only the third team in league history (and first in the modern era) to have an undefeated regular season. Eight more and they’re getting a second plaque on the Commissioner’s Trophy. Thaman is a major key to that success and we’re not sure what, if anything, could slow him down at this point.
Well…maybe one thing. In addition to a new pitch he has working, it turns out his sperm works too. Thaman is about to become a father for the first time (that we know about). Brian Ford has been calling OB-GYN’s in the area in a long shot hope of getting the labor induced the day of the World Series. Maybe that would be enough to slow the south paw down, or at least let a Wheelchair opponent score a run.
Joe Thaman
Nickname: Chauffeur Joe
Age: 29
Hometown: Saint Louis, MO
Resides: Washington, DC – Columbia Heights
Employer: Metropolitan Life – For the ‘ifs’ in life
Bats: L
Throws: L
How did you find PWL?: A straight friend (I think he’s straight – doesn’t matter though – good guy) and teammate, Chris Keeven
Seasons: 3
Career Batting Avg: .518
Career HR: 13
Career ERA: 0.49
Career K: 188
Awards: Most Valuable Player (Su10), Cy Young Award (Su10), Player of the Week (7 nominations/1win)
TWIF: What is your favorite baseball team and who is your favorite baseball player of all time?
JT: Saint Louis Cardinals. A mix of Stan “The Man” Musial, Will “The Thrill” Clark, Mark “Gracie” Grace, and David “Perfect Game” Wells
TWIF: Who sucks more, the Cardinals, or the Fighting Irish?
JT: This doesn’t make any sense.
TWIF: What is your favorite thing about wiffleball?
JT: Winning and pretty much everything else… except the douche-baggery of some teams and players.
TWIF: Have you ever done anything under the bleachers you’re not proud of?
JT: I’ve never had to meet with that creepy, old guy under the bleachers before. That’s a pretty sick question, Chris. What have you done with him? Geez
TWIF: If a plane crashed on the field while landing, what team would you want it to take out and why?
JT: The Sex Panthers. I don’t know those guys, but I would never name my team after a men’s cologne. Sounds kinda… ya know… And then the white-framed sunglasses. Let’s get serious.
TWIF: Your team is the defending World Series Champions, you personally are the current Cy Young Winner, you’re off to a 9-0 start this season, have thrown four perfect games…things seem to be going well on the field. What’s going on with Joe the person, not Joe the ball player, and what is your biggest off field disappointment?
JT: Joe the person is much less a man than Joe the wiffleman. I’m average in every facet of life – an average worker; average talker; average hand-shaker; average friend; (soon to be average dad); average white guy. Wiffle truly lifts my spirits beyond what any religion could do and raises my confidence levels in other parts of my life. For example, I was talking trash on Monday morning (after my two perfect games, of course) to my sales manager because he wouldn’t get me a cup of coffee. Then I was like, “check out my games from Sunday, idiot!” and sent him the links to watch our wiffleball (is it one word or two) games from 5/15. The jerk still hasn’t gotten me my coffee, but we both know I deserve it. I’m really a changed guy.
My biggest disappointment – I’ll never forget it – In 2nd grade, I had just bough a pack of basketball cards (probably Topps – I’m a traditionalist). One of my “friends” wanted the rookie card of a guy from Louisiana State University named Shaquille O’Neal. I never heard of the guy. I asked him what he would give me. He went into this sales pitch about how this young shortstop named Pat Listach with the Brewers was about to become one of the truly great shortstops of our generation. I quickly shook his hand, made the trade, and told him how great of a friend he was. That was the first time I found out how the real world works.
Color Commentary [5] - posted 2011-05-19 19:38 in Six-Innings
Anatomy of a Win: Don't Swing
written by TWIF
Week 5 saw the first ever forfeit of a game due a team running out of pitchers. The Canvassers and Garbage Plates each had one hit through the top of the 5th inning on the red field when the last Plates pitcher was removed. The win capped a 3-0 weekend for the struggling Canvassers who now find themselves tied for first place in the Wild Card race. The Garbage Plates beat the Canvassers 5-3 during Week 2.
[ box score ]
Several teams have been in this situation over the last four seasons. Often a gentleman’s agreement by the batter to swing at a bad pitch to keep the game going has prevented the forfeit. When division rivals the Canvassers and Garbage Plates met though, there weren’t any gentlemen on the field.
Read the full entry - Color Commentary [3] - posted 2011-05-18 20:44 in Videos
6 Innings with Jim Shannon
written by TWIF
This week we talk to Jim Shannon. In case you haven’t figured it out, the Shannon brothers are well, twins. We’re not sure if Jim is younger or older, and in fact, we can’t even really tell them apart when they’re not wearing their respective baseball hats. They make up a good chunk of the Blandsford Barnburners who are in the hunt for their third World Championship this season. They previously won in Spring 2009 and Spring 2010. They’re better in the cooler weather.
Jim Shannon
Nickname: When you’re this good, nicknames are considered to be irreverent
Age: 21
Hometown: Chicago, IL
Resides: Harrisonburg, VA
Employer: James Madison University
Bats: Check my stats
Throws: Check those too
How did you find PWL?: It found me
Seasons: 4
Batting Avg: .481
HR: 21
RBI: 39
Awards: POTW Winner
TWIF: What is your favorite baseball team and who is your favorite baseball player of all time?
JS: Chicago Cubs, and favorite player of all time is John McGraw. Google him.
TWIF: North side or south side?
JS: Well, since I have above a 5th grade education and since I have all my teeth, North side. At a game on the southside, tailgating consists of eating stale peanuts in the car while praying to God you don’t get robbed at gunpoint.
TWIF: What is your favorite thing about wiffleball?
JS: The look on DiCrosta’s face when I take him deep. He gives me a stare with those dead eyes of his.
TWIF: Have you ever done anything under the bleachers you’re not proud of?
JS: No, nothing what like Colin did behind the stage in high school.
TWIF: If a plane crashed on the field while landing, what team would you want it to take out and why?
JS: NWO, for reasons we’re all aware of. But of course, half of that roster never existed in the first place, so we’d suffer the least number of casualties.
TWIF: You’ve been nominated back-to-back weeks for Player of the Week to start off this season. You seem to be seeing the ball well. Lifetime your brother has won more awards, Rookie of the Year, two POTW to your one POTW. And yet, in career numbers you’ve got him by 45 points of AVG, 134 points in SLG, and have hit 2 more homers than him. Is it just that he’s more likeable in a public vote? Does he have better success with the ladies?
JS: The thing it comes down to, Chris, is that I just put my hard hat on every ballgame and do what I can to win. It’s not about the numbers, although mine are, in fact, that much better than his. The fact is that his numbers have been dropping ever since his rookie year, and I fear that he may be in the twilight of his career…
Color Commentary [4] - posted 2011-04-14 23:33 in Six-Innings
6 Innings with Alfred Breuer II
written by TWIF
This week we’re talking to Player of the Week nominee and possible rookie of the year prospect Alfred Breuer of the Garbage Plates. He’s a free agent pickup for a new team, but he’s leading the league in homers and RBI. He might even be able to pitch too, though clearly we don’t care about that.
Alfred Breuer II
Nickname: Alfred
Age: 29
Hometown: San Antonio
Resides: DC
Employer: Trade Association
Bats: Right
Throws: Like a girl
Seasons: .14
Batting Avg: .438
HR: 3, league leader
RBI: 9, co-league leader
Awards: One pending nomination for POTW
TWIF: What is your favorite baseball team and who is your favorite baseball player of all time?
AB: Cleveland Indians. Albert Belle, he is a misunderstood genius who doesn’t let anyone stand in his way, especially Fernando Vina.
TWIF: Home run, or legging a single into a double?
AB: Home run. Like Cecil Fielder I’d rather take my time around the bases.
TWIF: What is your favorite thing about wiffleball?
AB: I was allowed to play.
TWIF: Have you ever done anything under the bleachers you’re not proud of?
AB: No comment.
TWIF: If a plane crashed on the field while landing, what player would you want it to take out and why?
AB: Alexander Filides from NWO. 19 SO seems a little excessive.
TWIF: In your rookie debut as a free agent you hit three homers and drove in nine runs to lead the league in both categories. Some say you had the short field with the wind at your back. Some say it’s all downhill from here. How do you respond to those people, and can you live up to the expectations in future weeks?
AB: First, I must thank God, but I won’t be giving credit to Mother Nature or beginner’s luck. The wind may have been swirling, but after careful review of the games the wind is clearly moving across the field. Also my homeruns were at least 10 feet past the centerfield fence. I’d like to point out no other player on that field hit homeruns with the exception of my teammate who also mashes. Short field? Dammit! Are these fields regulation size or what? Sheesh! Having said all this I will now most likely crumble under the pressure and be dropped from the Garbage Plates very soon.
Color Commentary - posted 2011-04-07 21:09 in Six-Innings
Wiffleball Movie: Screwball
written by TWIF
I'm sure this is going to be the second worst movie ever made (after Eat, Pray, Love) but we'll certainly be downloading it on Friday.Color Commentary [1] - posted 2010-09-29 14:26 in Blog
